Ben Friedman
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A great 20th-century philosopher/astronomer once said, “work sucks, I know.” Long hours, stagnant wages, and poor management have left a…
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Lauren Sewell
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PITTSBURGH — The men’s room toilet at Skelly’s Tavern is seeking treatment after going through a dark period and hopes…
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Bobby Korec
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LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually…
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Dom Turek
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RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local woman Missy Frazier is sick of being the only one of her roommates with enough common…
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Joanna McNaney Stein
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Dominick Campbell exited a port-o-potty he described as a “crime scene level disaster” and gave…
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Krissy Howard
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MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Touring band Dwight Zombie made a last-minute stop in Memphis early yesterday afternoon for the sole purpose…
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Chris Nakis
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BETHESDA, Md. — Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease, recently gave approval for…
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John Danek
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FRESNO, Calif. — Local golden retriever DeeDee is utterly ashamed at owner Ben “Stank Beav” Carlisle’s insistence on dragging his…
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Steve Yuen
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AUSTIN — Turnstile show attendee and guy in a GG Allin shirt Mark Creston was searched by security twice following…
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Ian Yamamoto
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ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit,…
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