LOS ANGELES — Police precincts across the country are joining forces to send supplies of water, body armor, and tear gas to help Russian cops…
DENVER — Local police officer, and unknowing swallower of other people’s spit, Dale Martin admitted he wasn’t able to tell the difference between his normal…
LOS ANGELES — Local fitness enthusiast Gene Davidson is reportedly entering the third hour of an absurdly low-speed chase trying to recover a runaway AirPod…
LIMA, Ohio — A debate over payment and use of a venue on the outskirts of Lima has reportedly been taken over by authorities from…
NEW CASTLE, Del. — An unnamed man was arrested and taken into custody under the suspicion of “potentially having committed any heinous, violent act imaginable”…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local police officer James Kehoe was stripped of his Sergeant rank after his two semesters of D.A.R.E. classes didn’t result in him…
BOSTON — A new documentary about the city’s notoriously tough hardcore scene is mostly 90 minutes of incriminating evidence, multiple law enforcement officers confirm. “I…
Okay, let’s just access the situation here. I’ve had thirty beers, I do not know where my license is, this car has no functioning lights……
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — The local police department issued a public service announcement this morning warning the populace to be aware of dangerous anarchist activity downtown,…
PINOLE, Calif. — Emergency Medical responders arrived at the site of a psychiatric distress call late Wednesday to find Sheriff’s Deputies already wildly firing their…
So you’ve killed someone. It’s not an ideal spot to be in but hey, it happens. You’re first reaction is likely going to be to…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Members of crust funk band the Salt Garglers were desperately trying to repurchase their impounded econoline van at a civil forfeiture auction…
LOS ANGELES — Handsome super secret agent Angus “Mac” MacGyver easily thwarted a series of overly elaborate and ironic death traps set by famed serial…
LOS ANGELES — A relatively obscure film from the Indianapolis Police Department titled “Officer William Jameson’s Body Camera Footage 3/19/21” was awarded the Emmy for…
SAN DIEGO — Local socially conscious man Aaron Mayfield is pretty sure that all his self loathing, flagellation, and deprecation counts as a form of…