In 1988, the Conners showed the world that raising children in a lower middle class home had its ups and downs, while still keeping us…
RACINE, Wisc. — Local woman Madison Kemper nearly reached her breaking point with Tinder last night after receiving yet another unsolicited fish pic, sources close…
LAKEWOOD, Calif. — Aging punk Lilo Omed claimed today that the best way to keep his penis erect is not by consuming over-the-counter pills, but…
PACIFIC OCEAN — A male blue whale around 600 miles off the coast of the Aleutian Islands is reportedly ashamed of its five-foot-long micropenis, according…
NEW YORK — Local size queen Sasha Carter reportedly purchased a PlayStation 5, the only console large enough to satisfy her need for an enormous…
ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between the disease and erectile dysfunction…
RICHMOND Va. — Heavy metal legends GWAR picked up the wrong penis-clad monster costume from the dry cleaners yesterday in a mishap that may have…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Fraud victim Megan Howard made an emergency exit through her date’s bathroom window last night after an underwhelming penis reveal that looked…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Local crust punk Elliot Schreiber had the dick tattoo on his face completely blacked out by pranksters early this morning after…
LOS ANGELES — Inclusive frat guy Dylan Sargosta bravely drew both vaginas and penises on passed out freshmen during Friday night’s party at University of…
ERIE, Pa. — Local activist Mac Henderson staged an event to honor Spore, the 2008 life simulator from Maxis, for being first piece of art…
SAN DIEGO — Local pop-punk band Chump Rope honored their fallen drummer Johnathan Richard “Ball Sack” Bolen on Thursday with prayers, stories, and a freshly…
The release of Soul Calibur 6 brings a new character creator mode, which has allowed players to bring great matches such as a toaster vs.…
AUGUSTA, Maine — Local nerd Martin Beauchamp announced to fellow members of the online involuntarily celibate, also known as “incel,” community that he had purchased…
KYOTO, Japan — Masahiro Sakurai, creator of the video game series Super Smash Bros., explained to disappointed fans today that the reason Waluigi is not…