Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Local diner Bill Frakes reportedly walked into a recently reopened Golden Corral restaurant and whispered “beast mode” while…
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Anna Walsh
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SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Staff and audience members at the newly reopened Cherry Pit reported a puzzling stench that may be…
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Patrick Coyne
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NASHVILLE — Local woman and occasional defecator Ingrid Fowler was shocked and alarmed to discover her boyfriend’s bathroom had just…
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Kevin Tit
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HONOLULU — Local punk Joseph Green is looking forward to finally hanging out with friends in the alley during shows…
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Bobby Korec
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SEATTLE — Highly sought-after emotional support golden retriever Dr. Buttons Wigglesworth was reportedly not accepting new patients due to unusually…
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ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced earlier this week that fully vaccinated people may safely end…
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Dom Turek
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ASHEVILLE, S.C. — A frontline food service worker was stripped of her hero and esteemed “essential” status after forgetting to…
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Dianne Nora
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MILWAUKEE — An emerging COVID variant is reportedly optimistic about municipalities dropping their mask mandates across the county and excited…
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Jovian Gautama
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DENVER — Recently vaccinated McDonald’s line cook Lydia Dupree was relieved to be able to safely add layers of shimmering…
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Ryan Danley
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LOS ANGELES — Vocalist Trevor Handler of Reseda pop punk band Half-Hazzard insisted that his reluctance to help the band…
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