Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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The Hard Times Staff
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UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while…
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The Hard Times Staff
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ATHENS, Ga. — Touring COVID strain Delta Variant surprised showgoers after being added to a sold-out show at local punk…
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Mark Roebuck
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LOS ANGELES — Fans of the Misfits were thrilled yesterday as the original lineup of the highly influential punk band…
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Heather Cook
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NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local man and filthy roommate Mickey Bedford was caught running the sink for a few short…
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Robert John Scucci
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Jacksonville, Fla. — Local part-time dad Deryk Hoyt was disappointed by how far from completion his half-sleeve was after spending…
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Mark Roebuck
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DAVENPORT, Iowa — Members of controversial nu metal outfit Trapt were reportedly overjoyed to play their first show in front…
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THORNVILLE, Ohio — Local Juggalo Andreas “Wicked Kush” Fleming is ignoring all CDC recommendations while attending this year's Gathering of…
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Tony Morse
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GEORGE, Wash. — Dave Matthews Band is raising alarm among epidemiologists and everyone who isn’t in a fraternity or sorority…
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