Let’s be real — age is just a number. What’s great is that it can be any number you want, depending on how much responsibility…
Never let the government tell you what you can and cannot do. That’s what punk rock is for. In fact, I learned everything I know…
Okay, listen up, snowflakes. There’s been a lot of talk about piercing guns, and how they’re “unsafe” and “put children at risk of horrific infections”.…
God works in mysterious ways. That’s why I don’t question God’s plan for me. I merely pick and choose from the parts of it that…
All my life I’ve dreamed of making it. This is my sole passion and singular focus. Sure, fame and money would be nice, but that’s…
That’s right, laugh. Laugh it up, all of you. Because things are gonna change, homeslices! And when New Jack Swing comes back around, you’ll all…
Enough is enough! The American government is at a standstill. Our own seat of political power is hopelessly compromised all due to the misuse of…
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s people that lie about a sexual orientation that I don’t even really believe exists in the first place.…
Umm, actually, no, you can’t kick me out of this Wawa. My doctor said I can be in here. This note right here makes me…
I may not know much, and probably even less so now after that eleventh Jager bomb, but the one thing I know for sure is…
I’d like to apologize to every single person who attended my surprise intervention. Had I known it was happening I would’ve brought a 30-pack and…
The world is on fire. World economies rise and fall constantly. Pandemics rage, angry mobs overrun capitols, the oceans fill with toxins. In this historically…
Cops fucking suck. There isn’t anything new with that statement. But at least the douchebaggery that pigs dish out is on a linear plane of…
“Nice place?” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I live in a one-bedroom basement apartment with minimal natural light, you condescending asshole. Who…
In 1970 the case of Roe vs. Wade was brought before the Supreme Court. After a nearly three-year trial and appeals process, the court made…