John Dixon
•
SEATTLE — Local punk Branson Jones died from multiple stab wounds last week after falling onto the pin side of…
Read More →
Kevin Tit
•
BATON ROUGE, La. — Convicted murderer and death row inmate Tanner Greene’s biggest regret in life is not becoming a…
Read More →
Freddy Krueger
•
Hey kids, it’s your old pal, Freddy! No, not that molest-y 2010 reboot crap, I’m talking O.G Fred Man. That’s…
Read More →
Ashley Naftule
•
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local realtor Aaron “Shredder” Dukowski can’t wait to show potential buyers exactly where a gruesome quadruple…
Read More →
Jay Shingle
•
WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal…
Read More →
James Mahoney
•
CHICAGO — Local anarcho-punk Noah Wallin claimed today that he is prepared to take the lives of Scottish indie-rock band…
Read More →
Nick Ortolani
•
BEND, Ore. — Armed MAGA patriot Kenneth Carter spent several days last week tracking a man over several miles in…
Read More →
Rob Steinberg
•
This is a fucking disgrace. Do I like escalating shit? Sure. Do I like killing people? Fuck yeah! Do I…
Read More →
John Danek
•
Join me in a cathartic exercise. I want you to write down the names of 3 people who have slighted…
Read More →
Patrick Crooks
•
During a Hard Times office party, I said to the higher-ups we should use some of our PPP loan to…
Read More →
