CHILLICOTHE, Ohio — Local mom Phyllis Marlon filed a private defamation lawsuit against her daughter, Lisa, after the fourteen-year-old returned home from a trip to…
DENVER — Local Real Estate Agent and mother of four, Sharon Smithson, struggled to find the proper emotions at the unveiling of her youngest son’s…
EVANSTON, Ill. — Economists at North Western University published a new study this week showing a single parent of two must distribute their collective bargaining…
PIGEON FORGE, Tenn. — Local mother Julia Smith assumes that her completely asexual daughter Andrea is actually a lesbian who has yet to find the…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Local woman Brittany Mullins instructed her punk boyfriend Miles Blanchard not to mention his job, band, car, hobbies, drinking habit, religious…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they are more than likely being…
DENVER — Local man Liam Cooper announced that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his girlfriend charitably made for him was “worse than eating dog…
ENCINO, Cali. — West coast hip hop artist Travis MacKinnon, known in the music world as Beezy P, admitted that the only form of communication…
Look, I know that these days everyone goes around acting like they’re President of the Sodom and Gamera fan club. I see their merch everywhere,…
Eminem is a huge figure in the rap game who is known for his impressive freestyle skills and brutally earnest lyrics. He has also attracted…
CINCINNATI — Your Mom is wondering if you’ll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you’ll be too busy with this…
Alright, now I’m starting to get skeptical. I went in here to take a piss during this Battle of the Bands and, while the facilities…
HINSDALE, Ill. — Twitter user Shannon Nichols updated her profile bio today, moving “Trump Supporter” ahead of her other chosen descriptors of “Christian, Mother, Entrepreneur,…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer Dexter Holland in the ‘90s,…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Margery Watson’s annual Mother’s Day breakfast-in-bed was obstructed by her unsightly ventilator due to complications from an advanced case of COVID-19, depressed…