PEORIA, Ill. — A masked member of a local militia who was harassing people waiting in line to vote embarrassingly forgot where he left his…
JASPER, Ark. — Local militia member Lance Hagan accidentally ate the three years’ worth of emergency rations while anxiously watching the election results, according to…
SEWARD, Neb. — A far-right militia completely failed in their mission to remain vigilant on election day after the entire group became hopelessly lost in…
LANSING, Mich. — Far-right protesters who descended on the Michigan Capitol today arrived several hours later than scheduled, due to a gross miscalculation of just…
Big government is plotting to take away our rights as American citizens, like eating at local restaurants and licking strangers. Recently I joined a new…
Women have made great strides in earning leadership positions throughout American culture, having overcome decades of gender inequality and a glass ceiling. But there’s one…
The other day I’m down in Pioneer Forest Preserve minding my own business, doing my thing. Next thing you know this family comes up to…
Bang Bang Boom Boom Bang — the crackle of an AR-15? No, explosions from typing on this iPad Pro’s screen A poem to shrivel any…
The only thing I love more than American soldiers is preparing to defend myself against them by stockpiling as much heavy weaponry as possible. I…
CONCORD, Mass. — Close to 50 Bostonians, ranging in age from 14 to 31, have gathered near the Old North Bridge to defend pop punk, law…