COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – Stoner metal fan Paul Garry is finding that after years of listening to stoner metal almost every day, sometimes multiple times…
PHILADELPHIA — Fantasy metal band and LARPers, Cloak and Scabbard, are preparing for a week-long tour of the enchanted lands of the upper Midwest. The…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. – After purchasing Yngwie Malmsteen’s Trilogy, an album with a cover depicting the musician slaying a three-headed dragon with his six-string battle…
Satanic Ritual Actually Works, Jesus Fucking Shit RUN!!!
HOLYOKE, Mass. – A local metal show took a bizarre and deadly turn last Wednesday night when a mock-ritual performed on stage brought forth a…
Black Metal Vegan Burns Down Church’s Chicken
WETUMPKA, Ala. — Artemis Nyxx (legal name Blake Lambert), a vegan activist and vocalist of local “blackened crust” band Infinite Dvsk, took responsibility for a recent…
Face-Painting Adult With Sword Demands Respect
THE INTERNET – The often misunderstood world of adult face-painting went on high alert this week when Youtube user GoatLord666Watain took to the figurative airwaves…
Metal Zine Regrets 666 Skull Rating System
SECAUCUS, N.J. – Tensions are mounting at False Assault, a print zine dedicated to the New Jersey underground metal scene, as witnesses say the editorial…
Controversial Metal Band Writes Offensively Cliché Lyrics
TORONTO – No strangers to controversy, Toronto-based heavy metal band Icepick Executioner released their latest album Behold My Blade last week, this time offending scores…
Neftock, Master of Darkness, Agrees to Cover Shift at 7-11
SHIPPENSBURG, Pa. – Black clouds obscured an ice white moon amidst terrible rumblings echoing from the depths of the underworld today as Mitch Hubbins, a.k.a.…
Merch Guy Realizes He’s Been Selling the Wrong Squiggly-Lettered T-Shirt
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – A simple mistake spelled potential disaster for Dean Selay, merch guy for the Louisville post-black metal outfit Crypt Engraver, as he realized…
Christian Metal Band Doesn’t Believe In Evolving Their Sound
LANSING, Mich. – Local Christian band Bless The Martyr has stalled their momentum in the metal world by refusing to evolve their sound in any…
Game of Thrones Tribute Metal Band Getting Ahead of the Books
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. – The continued delay of The Winds of Winter, the sixth book in the George R.R. Martin series that inspired Game of Thrones,…
Godsmack to Play Coachella with Holographic Audience
INDIO, Calif. – This year’s annual Coachella music festival will continue to push the envelope of innovative hologram technology by reuniting Godsmack with their long-departed…
Band Writes 10-Minute Song In Under 2 Minutes
NEW ORLEANS – Some artists take a lifetime to complete their masterpiece; others can create a magnum opus in virtually no time at all. Sludge…
Lack of Talent Mistaken for Artistic Vision
TORONTO – Sludge metal act Old Cluster have made major strides recently in Toronto’s underground scene, selling out their last three shows with critics fawning…