CINCINNATI — Metalcore stalwarts Agony of Death are closing in on a band agreement that could lead to their first foray into SoundCloud rap, according…
I’ve been a Harm’s Way fan since I first discovered the Chicago-based heavy hitters on the Bridge 9 boards four years ago. I’d heard that the…
It’s Been Six Days And Sleep Are Still Playing (Please Send Food)
When I heard that doom metal gods Sleep were playing “Dopesmoker” in its entirety on an outdoor stage in Death Valley, I knew I had…
Grindcore Vocalist Asks if Band Has Time for Nine More
PITTSBURGH — After blasting through the first 27 songs of their set last night, local grindcore vocalist Alex Brown asked if his band had time…
Born-Again Metalhead Only Listens to Old Testament
SAN FRANCISCO — Born-again metalhead Pete Ericson will only listen to Testament albums released before 1992, claiming those records are “the sacred works of metal…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local stoner metal band Soundmurder are making “painful” sacrifices to accommodate a tedious, sober search for a new day job following their…
I Created a YouTube Account to Comment “White Snake Is REAL Music Not the Fake Disney Crap We Got Today”
I’m not much of a computer guy, OK? I work 10-hour days at McSimmon’s Tool & Die six days a week, so let’s just say…
Amps Left On Accidentally Record New Sunn O))) Album
SEATTLE — Stephen O’Malley, front-druid for prog-doom icons Sunn 0))), admitted the band’s forthcoming LP Spherical 7 [Ash of Dusk], was accidentally recorded live in one…
I’m sorry, you don’t like Metallica? I don’t think I understand that statement. You just never got into them? What does that even mean? Have…
Still Inspiring, I Guess: Three Little Ethiopian Girls Just Tried to Cover Metallica But Totally Blew It
A good viral video is like a short story. When an underdog rises to the occasion, takes on the world, and comes out on top…
SAN FRANCISCO — Confused stoner Tyler Harrison participated in a sleep-study program believing the nocturnal testing session would actually be a thoughtful dissection of the doom-metal…
RIVERBANK, Calif. — Meshuggah’s latest album The Violent Sleep Of Reason is riddled with hidden Morse code distress patterns from guitarist Fredrik Thordendal, according to…
Trump Bans Foreigner
WASHINGTON — President Trump signed a new executive order earlier today, banning Foreigner from the United States, White House sources confirmed. Dismissing such hits as…
Norwegian Authorities Catch US Black Metal Band Attempting to Cross Border Without Weapons
TRONDHEIM, Norway — Norwegian customs officials detained U.S. black metal band VVulfblud during their Scandinavian tour for not having any weapons on their persons whatsoever,…
BALTIMORE — Promoters of the Dollops of Doom festival canceled the three-day music event at the last minute after weather reports confirmed sunny skies and…