Can you believe this asshole? Sitting there like an idiot, playing that alt nu-metal garbage on repeat again. You can practically hear the band’s soul…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Brave souls slinging drinks at the Slumbar Saturday night prepared for the rush of headbangers hurling towards them during a set by…
With all the turmoil in the world, we can be happy that Swedish legends Arch Enemy are back with their long-awaited 11th album “Deceivers” which…
“One” by Metallica is not only a great thrash metal song, it’s one of the most kickass pieces of music ever. But if we’re really…
Okay hear me out, fellas. I’m not trying to say that our past photo shoots weren’t great. I love the memories we made that time…
CHICAGO 一 Local woman and record collector Sara Yousefi feels extremely relieved and happy that a random man has decided to gatekeep nu-metal, groaning sources…
HELL — Local metalhead Duane Hovey came to a shocking discovery after a tragic gravity bong explosion that the dark lord himself prefers the sounds…
DETROIT — Local metalhead, 36-year-old Denny Brokum, is reportedly willing to admit that he hasn’t heard of the band Scatological Wasteland but is confident that…
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Local man and lead singer of popular metal band, A Fistful of Fetuses, thought it a good idea to consult his company’s…
BEIJING — Norway added another gold medal in the 2022 Winter Olympic Games when their team of Black Metal musicians dominated the Standing Around in…
HOUSTON — Local death metal outfit Baby Skullcrusher announced via social media that they are changing their name to Goatopsy after years of playing under…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in your Type O Negative shirt…
Metal is all about precision. The meticulousness of a face-melting solo, the accuracy of a complex repeated riff. The exactness of a relentless blast beat.…
LINKÖPING, Sweden — Confused audience members were shocked at a recent Forest Floor show when the band, dressed in matching cloaks and heavy eyeshadow, began…
PHOENIX — Aging members of local metal band Toxins in the Bloodstream are deep in a spiraling debate about whether they should go all-in with…