Chris Bowen
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WEBSTER, N.Y. — Leading music experts unanimously agreed that arguments between fans over which metal bands are considered to be…
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Scott Waldman
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Nickelback (yes, that Nickelback), Slipknot, Turnstile, Theory of a Deadman, and various other rock and roll for your body, heart,…
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Stephen Bell
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DURHAM, NC — Researchers at Duke University recently discovered that playing Tool for your newborn will cause them to grow…
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Ben Friedman
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SIOUX CITY, Iowa — Slipknot announced they parted ways with drummer Jay Weinberg after it was revealed that he exaggerated…
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Carter Schenke
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LAWRENCE, Mass. — A new government report shows that unpaid child support rose nearly by half following the legendary butt…
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Chris Bowen
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ST. LOUIS — Members of Metallica, the biggest and undoubtedly most financially successful metal band of all time, are suing…
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Alec Walker
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SALT LAKE CITY — Local Metal Singer Caleb Blackburn recently found that the secret to honing his screaming skills is…
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Colleen Nerney
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COLUMBUS, Ohio —Notoriously weird bands Primus and Puscifer announced a joint headlining show at an upcoming Unbearable Tinder Date Convention…
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S.L. Neechski
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Subcultures tend to take themselves way too goddamn seriously. That’s why Type O Negative’s sarcastic take on gothic metal was…
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Eli Johnson
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MOLINE, Ill. — Local Dream Theater fan Beth Hillebrand enjoyed unfettered access to the venue’s female washroom thanks to being…
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