LAREDO, Texas — Conservative Tanner Oakenson recently committed his life to destroying all forms of fictional child abuse invented by his favorite conservative podcasters and…
LAKE WORTH, Fla. — Rival MAGA rappers Li’l Q and Lok ‘Er Up from the east and west coast of Florida respectively have begun to…
LAKE WORTH, Fla. — MAGA rapper Sean “Yung BilDaWall” Russell paid tribute to police officers the world over with his unique rendition of the NWA…
WASHINGTON — Elected officials across the country promised they would spend the rest of Pride month drafting legislation targeted at making life a living hell…
We all know moving is the worst, and packing is maybe the worst of the worst. There was so much we needed to load up…
It’s hard work being one of the only true Alpha Males left in this world. A major part of being an Alpha is constantly letting…
Which of these is the bigger crime: Literally just walking into a building, or murdering babies to drink their blood in a satanic ritual that…
PALM BEACH, Fla. –The Federal Bureau of Investigation recovered stacks of highly-classified nuclear weapons documents with “Hillary Clinton” written in childlike scrawls on them from…
Ever since Q provided all free-thinking patriots with irrefutable proof that our country is controlled by a shadow governing cabal of baby eating devil worshipers…
If you’ve been around the block as much as I have, you know you can’t hardly trust anyone about anything. You have to ignore all…
RACINE, Wisc. — Local woman Madison Kemper nearly reached her breaking point with Tinder last night after receiving yet another unsolicited fish pic, sources close…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — The remaining members of the outspoken nü-metal band Trapt are seeking an ill-informed bigot with cursory drumming ability to replace their…
FREDERICK, Md. — 48-year-old insurrectionist Mark Fleming is still struggling to understand how nobody noticed that he kidnapped Tiffany Trump during the chaos that took…
WASHINGTON — Capitol Police instructed potential rioters today to “just use the same route as last time” in response to growing concerns around another possible…
PRIDE ROCK — Dozens of hyenas still loyal to Scar attempted and ultimately failed to retake Pride Rock in a deadly coup following the defeat…