LAKE WORTH, Fla. — Rival MAGA rappers Li’l Q and Lok ‘Er Up from the east and west coast of Florida respectively have begun to feud over which rapper has the hottest bars and beats that praise the federally indicted former president Donald Trump, sources who wished they were deaf said.
“Yo, my shit’s got that fire, bruh and Lok ‘Er Up trying to bite it,” said Florida east coast MAGA rapper Keith Blumford aka Li’l Q. “My lyrics are like ‘They be tryin’ to blame everything on BlackRock / But they ain’t even lookin’ at what’s on Hunter Biden’s laptop’ but he had ‘You gots to look at Hunter Biden’s laptop / The secrets of Hillary’s emails are probably on that laptop’ He rhymed ‘laptop’ with ‘laptop’ — what the fuck, dude! I guess they haven’t heard of a thesaurus on the other side of the state.”
West coast of Florida MAGA rapper Brent “Lok ‘Er Up” Philbin rejects the accusations of plagiarism.
“Nah, dude it aint even like that. I’m the MAGA OG and Li’l Q is only in this game for the clout and the money,” said Philbin from his modest home recording studio. “I spit that shit that comes from the streets and I rep Clearwater, son. I’m the hottest MAGA MC in the game and west coast of Florida is the best coast of Florida. If I see him this side of Lakeland then it’s on sight.”
Former President Donald Trump says while he doesn’t usually listen to hip-hop, he is a fan of both rappers since the subject of their music is him.
“You know, I think what these guys are doing with the rapping is tremendous and it’s quite sad that they’re mad at each other, quite sad,” said Trump while boarding a plane bound for yet another arraignment. “But if you look at it, and people who are in the music business are taking a very close look, if you look you will see that I, your hopefully favorite president, I say ‘favorite’ because as we all know I received more votes than any candidate ever in history, but I am the only former president, but probably will be president again, maybe, we’ll see, to ever have the rapping music made about him.”
At press time, Li’l Q said he is planning on expanding his musical endeavors including a MAGA-themed rap metal band called “Rage Against Rage Against The Machine.”