Chris Bowen
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NEW YORK — Total loser Jay Draboll plans to spend his entire New Year’s Eve partying with friends in what…
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Are you ready to be devastated by the ravages of time? I mean just completely gutted, like looking at the…
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Joe Rumrill
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NEW YORK — Local 36-year-old loser Ryan Buttermyer reportedly maintained a heroic ten-minute wait period before confirming he’d be at…
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HOUSTON — Local Make-A-Wish kid Harvey Larkin, who has a rare degenerative disease that will certainly put an end to…
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Traye Holland
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SUN PRAIRIE, Wis. — Overconfident white guy Randall Weiss, who frequently proclaims his “life is a movie,” is reportedly ignorant…
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Robert John Scucci
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BALTIMORE — Local bachelor Dennis Howell has been wearing the same hat for the entirety of his adult life because…
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Ryan Dondero
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RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Pathetic fucking nerd James Flick admitted that he knows the names of every band member in every…
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Jessica Lillian
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Hey, look at this crowd of people outside the venue next to the band’s idling tour bus. It’s been more…
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Bex Kane
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Steve Carrington’s Canadian girlfriend. We’ve all heard this stuff before, but it’s so incredibly unbelievable that I genuinely thought Steve…
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Alex Vlahov
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It’s important to approach online bullying and harassment over social media with a mind like your mom’s legs — open.…
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