Seth Finkelstein
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SALEM, N.H. — Local gamer father Jack Ruebens has announced he will stop attempting to forge a relationship with his…
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WASHINGTON — President Trump showcased his overflowing Easter basket earlier today after outperforming “low IQ” children during the annual Easter…
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MADISON, Conn. — Local dad Elliot Chapman announced today that, in addition to keeping six feet of physical distance to…
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Patrick Coyne
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CAPE MAY, N.J. — Punk mom Tracy Barber admitted today that the forearm tattoos listing the names of her children…
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Rachel Clayton
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ALTOONA, Pa. — Anthony Spengler, the drummer for the hardcore band Unabashed, cleared off half of the band’s usual merch…
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John Dixon
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DAYTON, Ohio — Local 38-year-old scenester James Adkins is bemoaning to anyone who will listen that up-and-coming emo kids are…
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Ryan Harnedy
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local mother Kerry Mendez happily spent an hour of her Sunday afternoon last week resewing a “Fuck…
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The Hard Times Staff
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CORAL SPRINGS, Fla. — New Found Glory frontman Jordan Pundik reported he’s no longer motivated to write lyrics about teenage…
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Mark Roebuck
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CHESANING, Mich. — A sandwich bag containing approximately four grams of oregano was successfully sold to a group of middle…
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Brandon Kratkoczki
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Harmony Korine is one of the most interesting directors of his generation. His films are bizarre, uncomfortable trips into unexpected…
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