Lately it seems the world is increasingly full of self-righteous dickheads dropping subtle hints as to how I should live my life. Whether it be…
Winter is a magical time of year, but the best part of the season is the fact you can wear so many layers of clothes…
PUEBLO, Colo. – Local downer Henry Bergen recently stopped going through the motions of pretending to wash his hands after using the bathroom, according to…
These days, it’s so hard to find a product that works for MY body. There are many goods catered to the woman on the go,…
This week we decided to take a look at Drug Church’s latest release, “Hygiene,” and we found as we reviewed… ugh… you know what, no.…
It’s the middle of the night. I take my one water glass to the kitchen for a refill, and that’s when I hear it. “Ew,…
LOS ANGELES — Concert-goers at the legendary Smoking Barrel recently learned that the club has never had to refill the contents of its bathroom soap…
BOSTON — Local man Chet Deacon began the conversation on a first day with Alyssa Marco by apologizing for “the mess” of his entire being…
NEW YORK — Local woman Francisca Noguera asked her abusive partner of five months if he could extend his grooming habits to include his hygiene,…
AUSTIN, Texas — Outdoor enthusiasts gathered today to celebrate the opening of a brand new multi-use outdoor space by watching a shitty-looking white guy perform…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Peter Thurman is pretty certain nobody can tell he frequently uses his COVID mask as a cloth napkin for yet-to-be…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local venue Breezy Steve’s Beer Barn now requires attendees to show proof of showering before they enter the venue, according to sources…
HENDERSON, Nev. — A local punk found dead under an overpass with no phone or ID was quickly identified by friends after they recognized her…
NEW YORK — Compassionate Queens native Kacey Mora selflessly volunteered her time to help bathe actor and infrequent washer Jake Gyllenhaal, sources close to the…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local man and filthy roommate Mickey Bedford was caught running the sink for a few short seconds on Tuesday evening in…