The journey I took to finally feeling happy when I’m completely alone started with a simple problem: whenever I was alone, I felt really horny…
AVIGNON, FRANCE — A team of archeologists announced Monday the discovery of an array of prehistoric cave paintings in southern France, which they claim provide…
Enough is enough! The American government is at a standstill. Our own seat of political power is hopelessly compromised all due to the misuse of…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A new study released by researchers at St. Joseph’s College has revealed that Hades players who are horny for all of the…
Man Wondering if One of the Horny MILFs in His Area Could Maybe Just Show Him How to Iron His Shirts
Man Wondering if One of the Horny MILFs in His Area Could Maybe Just Show Him How to Iron His Shirts
SUMMERVILLE, S.C. — Local man Aaron Metcalfe is hoping today that one of the apparently hundreds of horny MILFs in his area advertised on PornHub…
SOUTHBURY, Conn. — Local urban legend The Southbury Slasher could not complete his annual killing spree last week when his chosen victims couldn’t have sex…
I am a devout, lifelong anarchist. I was marching for squatters rights when you were getting cut from your fucking little league team. I was…
BALTIMORE — Quarantined family man Arti Hagelstein succumbed today to both boredom and the exotic allure of Thelkkphegorg, the sleep paralysis demon who wakes him…
DETROIT — The operators of popular pornography site PornGash were confused and panicked last night when an actual local, horny MILF activated a profile with…
BEL AIR, Md. — Philidelphia transplant and Grindr user Brian Walsh was reunited with his estranged father Dale yesterday after the two inadvertently contacted each…
TORONTO — 29-year-old Jazmyn Elliot thought she was falling in love yesterday until she realized she was instead aroused simply from needing to urinate, according…
Now more than ever we need representation in media, especially in the female cartoon goth department. Women in cartoons are typically shown as subordinates to…
NEW YORK — A large-scale data breach of Tumblr’s current user base compromised the personal information of all 12 horny, artsy kids that for some…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local woman Gina Crossman is eager to “set the record straight” since gaining the reputation of being a groupie as opposed to…