The goal of a man is to identify his weaknesses, eliminate them, and then start crushing life right in the asshole. At least, that’s what…
VENTURA, Calif. — 30-year-old Magnus Hahn made last night’s show all about him after picking up the Faulty Mechanics singer’s knocked over mic stand in…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — No wave/post-punk musician Isla Porter’s only goal in music is to become famous enough to meet a GoFundMe goal should a medical…
You’ve waited for what feels like hours. Your mouth is watering. Your nose smells the moist warmth of the starchy tuber. It’s finally time to…
Imagine this: It’s a perfectly sunny day and you decide to sit outside strumming your acoustic guitar under the shady branches of a towering oak…
You know how people joke about defeating a small business in a lawsuit when something goes wrong so badly that they’ll end up owning it?…
Get this, hepcats: we sat down with one of the red hot jazz combos of our times, the Frankie Tops Quintet, and wouldn’t you know…
CASPER, Wyo. — Jimmy Santiago, lead guitarist of local extreme metal act Necrosticide, called in his older brother George for assistance nailing a spectacularly difficult…
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Hard Rock Cafe Manager Kyle Neeson offered the chance to hold the INXS guitar hanging in the women’s bathroom to departing…
Somebody help! I just listened to every Pavement album in a row, and now even the simplest conversation is like taking a giant ramrod to…
MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a friend’s old posters and a…
Man Wondering if One of the Horny MILFs in His Area Could Maybe Just Show Him How to Iron His Shirts
Man Wondering if One of the Horny MILFs in His Area Could Maybe Just Show Him How to Iron His Shirts
SUMMERVILLE, S.C. — Local man Aaron Metcalfe is hoping today that one of the apparently hundreds of horny MILFs in his area advertised on PornHub…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently called into Hannity to boast about the minimal help he needed beating the entire series of Professor Layton games…
CHICAGO — Logan Square resident Nick McMahon is enjoying the social capital gained from his passionate tweets against police brutality, but secretly hopes others don’t…
I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty good-looking guy. You wouldn’t hire me to model in GQ or anything, but I’ve heard a lot…