LANCASTER, Pa. — Jack White, formerly of the White Stripes, was spotted outside of the Shady Maple Smorgasbord receiving treatment by EMTs after suffering second-degree…
NEW YORK — Local entertainment ticketing conglomerate Ticketmaster was inexplicably able to charge a $7.99 service fee for each MTA rider who saw Green Day…
PITTSBURGH — Trailblazing tattoo artist, entrepreneur, and fourth-grade student, Sammy “Slugman” Sluggins opened up a discreet semi-permanent Sharpie-based tattoo shop in a tunnel located on…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local musician Garrett Thompson’s attempt to explore diverse music genres resulted in five uniquely terrible solo projects which were met with embarrassment…
AKRON, Ohio — Local post-punk band Blaque Tye started a Patreon page last week as part of an esoteric sexual humiliation fetish, in which their…
EUGENE, Ore. — Leo Radler, a bartender at local pub The Swampland, is completely unaware that many of the regular patrons of his place of…
Oh no. No, no, no. This is bad. You gotta help me! Here’s the backstory. I told my idiot friend Carl that his overpriced Chase…
SIMI VALLEY, Calif. — Local woman Ashley Harris refused to answer her bank’s security question this week claiming the prompt “What was your favorite band…
I’ll be honest. Growing up, I never saw myself as an iconic singer-songwriter. Winning a ton of Grammy Awards, being inducted into the Rock and…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Current occupants of notorious punk house Shitshow Chateau revealed that their resident pitbull Hammer is the only inhabitant that has not bitten…
Another week into the new year, and it’s still the same old you when you look in the mirror. What happened? You used to, like,…
WASHINGTON — The 2024 edition of the classic educational short film series “Schoolhouse Rock!” will contain a song dedicated to teaching children the importance of…
The year was 1992. I had just clocked out at Spencer’s Gifts and walked across the mall to catch the next showing of “Aladdin.” Robin…
ST. CLOUD, Minn. — Audience members at pop-punk trio Little Rounders’ St. Cloud Room show this weekend all reported bouts of cute aggression, after drummer…
How to Explain to Your Parents that They Don’t Need to Comment on Every Facebook Post They See
The way our parents engage on Facebook with the same excitement and wonder as we did in the mid-2000s is adorable. Though it’s now largely…