Tim Sheard
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OSLO, Norway — The brand new, all-black metal streaming platform “Corpsify +” is responsible for the brutal deaths of eight…
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Zac Lux
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SAN DIEGO — Junior designer Lewis Cooper allegedly accidentally contaminated his entire office with the deadly coronavirus yesterday, thanks to…
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Zach Raffio
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LOS ANGELES — Heavy metal legends Mötley Crüe, preparing for an upcoming reunion tour, admitted today that they are excited…
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Jordan Breeding
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WASHINGTON — Presidential hopeful, and supposed socialist, Bernie Sanders selfishly won his third state during the democratic primary and seems…
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John Danek
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WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested…
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Mark Bouchard
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CHICAGO — Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg admitted yesterday that, in times of quiet reflection, he often daydreams about ordering…
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Kevin Tit
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LANCASTER, Pa. — Local woman and Three Days Grace Family Care Clinic patient Wendy Adair was instructed yesterday by her…
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Zach Russell
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HOUSTON — Veteran obstetrician Brian Lein spent upwards of 10 minutes yesterday indifferently tugging on a patient’s newborn in an…
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Jonah Nink
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MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced this morning that the social media giant is launching a new…
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Patrick Coyne
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CAPE MAY, N.J. — Punk mom Tracy Barber admitted today that the forearm tattoos listing the names of her children…
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