Patrick Coyne
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March 26, 2020
LOS ANGELES — “The Masked Singer” fans were shocked last night when the sassy, playful, incognito contestant Mr. Monster was…
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John Danek
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March 26, 2020
LOS ANGELES — Quarantined Los Angelino Freddy Garcia has spent a majority of his COVID-19 isolation time pleasuring himself to…
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PHILADELPHIA — Outspoken supporters of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, known as “Biden Bros,” are reportedly harassing potential voters via…
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Jerrod Kingery
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March 26, 2020
AUSTIN, Texas — Social media marketing manager Anthony Skipper forwarded a complaint about his tortimese housecat Nickels moments ago to…
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Patrick Coyne
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March 25, 2020
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — The cam girl you’ve been throwing money at when you should have been working from home…
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Patrick Coyne
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March 25, 2020
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A heavily discounted DVD of the Steve Carell vehicle “Evan Almighty” is “really fucking pushing it” by…
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Nick Ortolani
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March 25, 2020
MACON, Ga. — Local Civil War reenactor, blogger, and aspiring mass shooter Randolph Cunningham was forced to go door to…
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Patrick Coyne
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March 24, 2020
LOS ANGELES — The producers of the hit HBO docu-series “McMillions” are pitching their next fast food true crime story,…
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John Danek
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March 24, 2020
DENVER — Local nerd Eugene Boscroft asked aghast record store employees moments ago to help him find old compilations from…
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Anthony Robinson
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March 24, 2020
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — The collective U.S. student loan debt held a press conference early this morning, claiming that it isn’t…
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