ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Local poser Jonathan Pittman committed the ultimate social faux pas last night, showing up to a date wearing a shirt printed…
PHOENIX — Local hero and vinyl enthusiast Nate Adams broke a car window in last week’s triple-digit temperatures in order to save some records overheating…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local man Garrett Doyle has somehow managed to build a real-life personality even more insufferable than the one he portrays online, according…
BERLIN — Skeptical parents everywhere were vindicated last week when slow growth and staff cuts at international music startup SoundCloud proved that even well-funded tech…
BROOKLYN — Post-punk band T.F.U. has listed the empty space in front of the stage for rent on Craigslist as a summer sublet, following several…
SALT LAKE CITY — Self-identified punk Alexandra Fairuz discovered earlier today, via a search of her surname on Ancestry.com, that she descends from a long…
SAN DIEGO — Completely unknown punk band the Ass Blasters ended their underwhelming 30-year career to absolutely no fanfare, according to venue and bar staff…
CHICAGO –– The guttural moans and profanity-laden shrieks emanating from the birthing tub of Kia Armetto “really added a certain something” to a DIY basement…
ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — An increasing number of American punks are preparing for the “frightening and inevitable” doomsday scenario of a fourth wave of ska,…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Punk magician Dakota Fremont finished a trick at a child’s birthday party on Saturday by informing him that Fremont “didn’t give a…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local father Frank Redondo continues to live unknowingly under speculation and ridicule due to his unshakeable belief that Freddie Mercury was heterosexual,…
PHILADELPHIA — Self-checkout unit 2012X-C14 gave two weeks notice yesterday to its Main Line Food Empire store in order to pursue its dream of performing…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local teen Billy Johnston was left in critical condition earlier today after being yelled at by a friend’s mother, according to multiple…
PYONGYANG, North Korea – North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un vowed to decimate the city of Los Angeles with his distinctive style of bass guitar, in…
LOS ANGELES — The popular streaming service Hulu engaged customer Amy Klein in a “bizarre, masochistic torture ritual” earlier this week, forcing her to choose her…