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Show-Deprived Scene Lines Up Around the Block to See Recently Reopened Restaurant Mariachi Band

SAN ANTONIO — Local restaurant Tantos Tacos reopened last week to patrons lined up around the block desperately anticipating the historically ignored house mariachi band Malos Cerebros’s evening set, entertainment-deprived witnesses reported.

“I’ve never been more excited to see live music in my life, even though I don’t even know the name of this band,” said new fan Tommy Calpanter before asking the host if there was a cover. “Every time I’ve eaten here I’ve been hit with a severely debilitating case of food poisoning, but the inevitable 36-hour vomiting spree that’s sure to happen is going to be totally worth it just to see music in person for the first time in months. Sure, this isn’t my first choice of bands to see live, but I just have no interest in the Godsmack cover band playing at the reopened laser tag place across the street. No thanks.”

Band members were completely floored by their reception.

“A local crust punk zine called us ‘the Discharge of mariachi,’ whatever that means,” said Juan Luis, the band’s guitar player. “Before this pandemic, every single person who ate here would avoid eye contact with us, despite our aggressive attempts to besiege their dining tables. Since reopening, though, diners enthusiastically wave us over and shout Bruce Springsteen song requests at us. We’ve been so popular, we set up a merch booth next to the salsa station. We sold out of mediums in like, 20 minutes.”

Local experts compared this recent phenomenon to the live music history of the town’s past.

“The mariachi scene here was way better in the 80s,” scene veteran Guy Frederick said before double-dipping his chip into a shared bowl of guacamole. “But this reopening amidst the live music drought is just like the good ol’ days, when mariachi dominated this area. This could be a comeback as prolific as the post-punk revival of the mid-2000s, or it could come and go faster than you can say ‘third-wave ska revival.’ Who knows?”

At press time, everyone in the restaurant was waiting for a good 15 minutes and counting after the band’s set was over to see if they were coming back for an encore.