BALTIMORE — Local karaoke enthusiasts were shocked last night to learn that the words to Cosmic Dinosaur’s hit single “Let’s Stop Going” were significantly worse…
GREENSBURG, Pa. — 93-year-old grandfather and pretentious grouch Stan Kiska yet again defended his stance today that Joe Besser was the funniest and most talented…
SAN ANTONIO — A friend informed you today during a visit to your hometown that she finally listened to Breaking Benjamin, a band you suggested…
CHICAGO — Riot Fest organizers announced today that this year’s festival will be headlined by all past iterations of Andrew W.K. performing together, as the…
NEW YORK — An alarming new study conducted by a research panel of angry baby boomers found that 82% of millennials can not locate Paradise…
PEARL CITY, Hawaii — 15-year-old hipster Delia Park has fully transformed from an early fan to a harsh critic of her recently-divorced parents, having listened…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Local bartender Marty Craig allowed himself to enjoy the Limp Bizkit classic “Rollin’” in its entirety last night without a tinge…
HOUSTON — A holographic version of Mick Jagger waited patiently offstage yet again at a Rolling Stones concert last night, ready for the corporeal version…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Elderly punk “lifer” Alicia Rosenblatt came to the difficult conclusion yesterday that her decades of punk spirit and ethos were indeed a…
LINCOLN COUNTY, Nev. — Matt Skiba, originally of Alkaline Trio, and more recently singer/guitarist in Blink-182, is set to replace Tom DeLonge as leader of…
Punk is a music genre but also an ethos. The core tenant of a punk life is never selling out. A close second is never…
EUGENE, Ore. — Indie outfit Southbreather headlined local dive bar The Sour Patch Tuesday night after booker Joe Hermann asked the group if they wouldn’t…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Guitarist Loyd Schneider raced back and forth between two different venues last night after booking shows with his hardcore band The…
BALTIMORE — Self-proclaimed beer snob Jeremy Drika pretended last night to thoughtfully peruse the beer list at a local brewpub before picking solely based on…
Dear Scabby: What does BDSM stand for? -WTF Dear WTF: BDSM refers to “blowing dildos sex machine,” or maybe “boner dive… something, something,” but can…