When you hear the word hero, you probably think of Batman or Superman or maybe The Martian Manhunter. It’s a word that in our modern…
HARRISONBURG, Va. — Local punk and obvious alcoholic Marcia Fries announced moments ago that despite consuming nearly a dozen cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer…
LOS ANGELES — Matt Skiba, guitarist and vocalist for celebrated pop-punk bands Alkaline Trio and Blink-182, emailed his resume this morning to Northern California punk…
CUMBERLAND, Md — Local mom Beth Clarke proudly placed a print-out of her son’s band’s 7.1 Pitchfork review on her fridge today, citing the notable…
An alarming and depressing new study found that Baby Boomers are still, for the most part, very much alive and selfishly they have no intention…
CHICAGO — Friends and family of local “all-around artist” Will Bell braced themselves today after Bell posted a cryptic message on Facebook claiming he had…
PHOENIX — Local 30-year-old Arun Sharma tested today whether or not he can use expletives in front of his parents, as he’s still unsure if…
Poetic Justice: This Guitar Center Employee Just Sat in My House and Played With a Blender Then Left
Poetic Justice: This Guitar Center Employee Just Sat in My House and Played With a Blender Then Left
I wish I could take it back. I wish I had never set foot into that Guitar Center just before close and played guitar until…
PITTSBURGH — A local film club consisting entirely of goths announced today that their next event will feature a screening of the 1994 film “The…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Hazel Mason ate her entire three-day supply of weed earlier today while standing in line to enter The Fest, trying…
Dear Scabby: My boyfriend is a total shithead. Habitual liar and addicted to pain killers. The problem is we’re both starving artists and I need…
Do you remember Paul? He used to be one of the craziest, most hardcore punks in the scene. He was the guy that pierced his…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Talented up-and-coming mosher Kurt Scalloway is unable to participate in hardcore activities for roughly one month, after doctors and cobblers confirmed he…
WASHINGTON — The National Rifle Association demanded today fewer restrictions surrounding the purchase and use of U.S. senators, in response to growing calls across the…
The infamous, anonymous street artist Banksy is as known for his subversive artwork as his reclusive nature. Imagine our surprise when he immediately agreed to…