Michael Luis
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MADISON, Wis. — 14-year-old nu metal fan and novice Boy Scout Calvin Nelson is reportedly only interested in learning about…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Cadets of the Chicago Police Academy were reminded of the exhausting six weeks of training they endured in…
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Courtney Baka
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DENVER — Local woman Caitlin Baker recently celebrated her fully vaccinated status by dropping her dating standards to an all-time…
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Stephen Bell
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ATHENS, Ohio — Self-described lover of crystals, energy healing, and astrology Emma Cobb is reportedly only into hobbies that allow…
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Krissy Howard
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A limited-capacity show yesterday evening drew a crowd twice as large as local band Jolly Bean Chili…
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Heather Cook
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TAMPA, Fla. – Local emo singer Dacian Miron was seen in a Chipotle parking lot pathetically begging his girlfriend to…
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Ben Friedman
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FREEHOLD, N.J. — Local mall security guard Corey Knightly was in shock after a known ‘Blue Lives Matter’ proponent tore…
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Krissy Howard
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BOISE, Idaho — Local woman and lifelong punk Charlotte Birdsong came to the relieving conclusion that she does not miss…
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Bobby Korec
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HILL VALLEY, Calif. — Marty McFly checked the liner notes of Bad Brains’ self-titled album hoping to see precisely when…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Friends of local man Jesse Miller were disconcerted by the ease with which he spelled the sexually transmitted…
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