Dianne Nora
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January 22nd marks the 49th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that enshrined the right of…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in…
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John Danek
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FORT WORTH, Texas — Recent newlyweds and longtime couple Darren Oltowski and Denice Landry have recently begun dabbling in perfunctory,…
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Matt McInerney
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local woman Carmen Sullivan was found dead this morning after the wire of her earbuds became caught…
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Colleen Nerney
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INDIANAPOLIS — 18-year-old Christian Mingle opened a lawsuit against his parents early yesterday afternoon in regard to his given name,…
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John Danek
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MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Self-proclaimed “experimental indie” band True Friction are horrified to see that their “Related Artists” tab on Spotify…
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WASHINGTON — President Biden downplayed the failures of his infrastructure and voting rights bills earlier today and instead took full…
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Patrick Coyne
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LOS ANGELES — A new film titled “Great Again” featuring famed director Clint Eastwood reciting and acting out boomer memes…
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Mark Maira
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Extremely circumspect spray paint addict, Calvin Roberts, is said to be back to wiping down his cans…
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