BAYSHORE, N.Y. — Local stressed out man Tanner Beggins took a brief pause moments ago from wailing into his scream pillow to flip it over…
LONDON — Queen Elizabeth II announced today that she will knight either Liam or Noel Gallagher of famed 90s Britpop group Oasis to quell her…
WASHINGTON — President-elect Joe Biden and his administration offered pizza today to any citizens willing to help move some boxes out of the White House…
WASHINGTON — National Public Radio parted ways with long-time “Fresh Air” host Terry Gross yesterday after the controversial Philadelphia radio personality asked guest U.S. Poet…
DETROIT — Local YouTube guitar teacher Nita von Bismark quietly mumbled to her online students that she would put on a Jimi Hendrix documentary and…
SAN FRANCISCO — The hosts of the Discovery Channel show “Mythbusters” reunited yesterday to test the myth that a man died by tasing himself in…
DENVER — Julian Rodriguez, guitarist of Black Sabbath tribute act Supernauts, fought back tears this morning as he purchased a Ryobi circular saw with his…
BETHESDA, Md. — Researchers at the National Institute of Health have found that the average American gets most of their health knowledge before clicking “skip…
NEW YORK — Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson dedicated a segment of his show last night to telling his viewers that the Capitol building may…
PACIFIC OCEAN — A male blue whale around 600 miles off the coast of the Aleutian Islands is reportedly ashamed of its five-foot-long micropenis, according…
CALABASAS, Calif. — An emotional Kanye West stood outside soon-to-be-ex-wife Kim Kardashian’s bedroom window last night while holding a boombox playing his own music in…
MEDFORD, N.Y. — Aspiring film buff and possible ADD sufferer Jacob Leftwich spent the entire duration of “The Godfather” yesterday scouring tidbits and fun facts…
HYANNIS, Mass. — Local woman and generally uncertain person Anne Levy is on a desperate quest to validate her supposed “gut feeling” that she should…
DEER PARK, N.Y. — The owners of local rehearsal space Damned Studios released a number of safety protocols yesterday for COVID, but failed to address…
BROOKLYN — Local stoner metalhead Graham Wyatt overslept this morning after a night of drinking and weed smoking, which caused him to run a “‘Dopesmoker’…