Harley Murgatroyd
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Wynn Hall updated their resume yesterday evening to include “selling plasma” following a long history…
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Matt McInerney
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DETROIT — Local metalhead, 36-year-old Denny Brokum, is reportedly willing to admit that he hasn’t heard of the band Scatological…
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Dianne Nora
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DALLAS — Gary McGee, a 50-year-old insurance salesman from Fort Worth who recently married mother of three, Linda Villalobos, is…
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Cory Cousins
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CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Local man and lead singer of popular metal band, A Fistful of Fetuses, thought it a good…
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Tom K
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ATHENS, Tenn. — Punks across Tennessee sifting through dumpsters for “perfectly good food” are inadvertently becoming the most well-educated people…
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Char Byram
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NEW YORK — Percussion enthusiast Jeffery Saunders was disturbed to discover his new electronic drum kit let out sounds of…
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Freelancer
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RAAHIL’S BODY — The fast-growing cystic acne chain on your friend Raahil’s face is launching franchise opportunities, with new pimples…
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Tony Morse
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DENVER — Local police officer, and unknowing swallower of other people’s spit, Dale Martin admitted he wasn’t able to tell…
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Literally A Koala
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PHOENIX — Local couple Mia Jaquish and Timothy Sickler spiced up their relationship by hanging a mirror above their bed…
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Alexandra Johnson
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TEMPE, Ariz. — Self-appointed master of thrifting Ryan Lowell is reportedly exhausted from explaining his craft to uneducated crowds low-balling…
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