Jonah Nink
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CARBONDALE, Ill. — Area woman Meg Sebastian conceded that she would “check out Primus” in a desperate bid to end…
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Camden Brazile
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ST. LOUIS — Audience members were upset at a local punk show last night when touring band Metallicunt revealed themselves…
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Collin Canning
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FALL RIVER, Mass. — A centuries-old apparition roaming the innards of an 1800’s New England heritage property “must be someone…
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The Hard Times Staff
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LOS ANGELES — A seemingly innocuous Spotify pop-punk playlist was ordered by a judge at the Los Angeles superior court…
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Sari Beliak
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CAPITOLA, Calif. –– Awkward man Bryan Erdman revealed Monday that he is never quite sure what to do with his…
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Neel Bhakta
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LAS VEGAS — Desperate 40-year-old man Duke Durado miserably settled last week for a girl in a short skirt and…
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Jay Shingle
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WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal…
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Aidan Sears
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NEW YORK — National Guard Troops apprehended Iowa native and big-hearted dreamer Elieen Denham yesterday, dive-tackling her in front of…
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Rachel Clayton
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ALTOONA, Pa. — Anthony Spengler, the drummer for the hardcore band Unabashed, cleared off half of the band’s usual merch…
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Freelancer
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WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local woman Eloise Mandeel called Guitar Center this morning in hopes that an employee would tell…
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