Dianne Nora
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August 11, 2021
WASHINGTON — Members of the United States Senate were up until the early hours of the morning working to protect…
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Josh Klasco
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June 14, 2021
DETROIT — Automobile manufacturers across the country hoping to stem the tide of climate change pledged to go 100% electric…
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Nathan Kamal
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June 10, 2021
HOUSTON — Famed environmental superhero and holographic android Captain Planet announced he would be accepting a position as a paid…
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James Knapp
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June 7, 2021
MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a…
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Hey you! Yeah you, the gentrifying piece of shit driving around in that planet-destroying truck. Hey, I've got an idea.…
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Danny Taverner
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November 10, 2020
DALLAS — Residents of the local punk house The Lincoln Memorial learned yesterday that the white noise machine they thought…
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Patrick Coyne
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August 31, 2020
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local hooligan and member of the San Jose punk scene Todd Bettina was severely electrocuted yesterday…
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Claire Brown
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June 20, 2018
When I was a kid, I believed in the American dream. That I could one day be all I ever…
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Ian Fishman
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October 2, 2015
DENVER – Despite recurring gastrointestinal issues that have led to countless lonely nights and angry stares from fellow bus riders, multiple sources confirmed that…
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