John Danek
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PENSACOLA, Fla. — Snake trainer Trevor Bloch raises his anacondas and other snakes to not judge potential mates by physical…
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Patrick Coyne
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PHOENIX — The musical comedy duo of Mitch Warner and Danny Morales, tentatively named “Sax and Violins” or possibly “Fingering…
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Kevin Tit
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CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE, Fla. — Cultural Icon and noted serial killer Jason Voorhees was reportedly bullied out of infamous Florida…
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Matt McInerney
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SALEM, Ore. — Droves of musicians unable to finish career-defining albums due to the distractions of modern life have begun…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Touring steampunk band The Death Gaskets’s frustrated venue staff when their tour rider was revealed to be nothing…
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Camden Brazile
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PITTSBURGH — A local bouncer at the popular nightclub Shotbar manned his post last night with the adamant mindset to…
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Chris Jones
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HOUSTON — Scientists at NASA monitoring the Perseverance Rover made a startling discovery today when it sent back photos of…
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Nick Ortolani
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WASHINGTON — Democratic members of the U.S. legislature announced today that, “Fuck it, we’re gonna lower the minimum wage,” following…
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David Britton
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NEW YORK — Producers of “Fox & Friends” announced today that they will move the popular news show from its…
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Jake Menez
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PHOENIX — Stead Ned, the guitarist for the Ned Flanders-inspired heavy metal band Okilly Dokilly, is worried about his missing…
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