WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of fistfights and crew battles in…
ANTIGO, Wis. — Members of local hardcore band Body Parts ousted frontman Jay Terrold after he failed to make the agreed upon weight to be…
All pop punk frontmen are the same. With their limited vocal ranges, minimal guitar skill, and shared affinities for black skinny jeans, these guys are…
CHICAGO — Alternative rock legends Smashing Pumpkins announced that they will be reuniting their founding roster, which includes drummer Jimmy Chamberlin, guitarist James Iha, bassist…
PHILADELPHIA — Several fans braced for embarrassment at a local extreme metal show Saturday night when the frontman of black metal band Blürgnorff walked out…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Legendary Terror frontman Scott Vogel was caught incessantly checking his Fitbit watch while pacing back and forth in hopes of improving his…
NEW YORK — A local dry cleaner called Talking Heads frontman David Byrne this morning informing him that they still have the giant suit he…
KETTERING, Ohio — Ex-Screamo Frontman Buster Krull was once again reminded that he did not have to lodge his entire headset into his mouth to…
CLEVELAND — Local frontman and full-time IT specialist Kirk Lawson alerted members of his band Nuggitzz that they would once again need to change their…
Literature can be difficult to interpret. An author’s intent is oftentimes lost by the reader, which has never been more frighteningly apparent than pop-punk vocalist…
DAYTON, Ohio — Members of local punk band False Dmitri were shocked to learn that their longtime merch guy had a first, middle, and last…
CHICAGO — Dad Belly frontman Blake Thomas was shocked to discover that he had never actually heard longtime drummer Sophie McDonald speak until the band’s…
SCRANTON, Penn. — Toby Louvern, lead vocalist in doom-pop band Expired Sex, was stricken with the deepest existential terror of his life during a recent…
MONTREAL — Canadian pop punk musician and overall good dude Jeremiah Dean released a public apology yesterday despite not being accused of any unacceptable behavior…
LOS ANGELES — Members of pop rock outfit Maroon 5 are wondering when they will finally enjoy the fruits of the band’s success that their…