TAMPA, Fla. — Murderkiller vocalist George Kostner admits he takes pride in the fact he hasn’t committed a single lyric from any of his band’s songs to memory, several camouflage pants-wearing sources report.
“One time I just repurposed the lyrics of ‘Oops…I Did It Again’ for our song ‘Release the Meat Hooks’ just for the hell of it,” Kostner explained. “In fact, I’ve never even owned a notebook in my life. All I have to do is yell and near-rhyme shit like ‘gore’ and ‘morgue’ and the crowd is none the wiser! I’m sure the lyrics our bassist and founder of the band writes are brutal and all, but little does he know, I’ve basically freestyled ‘Drillbit C-Section’ for the past 15 years now.”
Longtime Murderkiller fan Jessica Garcia noticed the legendary death metal singer’s peculiar stage presence.
“I love Murderkiller, and always have. But just like any other death metal band, I don’t look to them for lyrical content I can relate to,” Gracia explained. “That being said, George has some pretty curious stage mannerisms. He’s always covering his mouth with the mic and keeps his head down the entire show almost like he’s hiding something, but who cares. No one goes to death metal shows to join a sing-a-long anyways. As long as I get those brutal song title introductions, I’m a happy customer. Even though he seems to get a lot of the song title intros wrong.”
Extreme metal expert Carlos McCoy noted other musicians in the black, death, grind scenes who have coasted through their careers.
“I’m just going to throw this out there now: the majority of these metal scenes consist of musicians and singers just winging it,” a shiny bald-headed McCoy said. “You think Karl Sanders is actually saying anything about Egypt and shit up there? In fact, he likes to switch it up with each show by screaming lyrics about other ancient civilizations. Best one I heard was his entire off-the-cuff set on the ancient people of Göbeklitepe. Very brutal yet super informative!”
At press time, Kostner also admitted that he hadn’t even written a single lyric on Murderkiller’s previous album, noting that most of the words derived from random items on past grocery lists.