AUGUSTA, Ga. — A crowd of people that accidentally erupted in applause for a headlining band’s guitar tech last night collectively agreed to remain silent…
NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — Local man Aaron Mendle simply wet his hair in the sink yesterday and wrapped a towel around his waist when he…
YPSILANTI, Mich. — Local man Toby Campbell was humiliated last night by accidentally wearing a thrash metal shirt to a doom metal show, according to…
BALTIMORE — Former 25 ta Life frontman Rick Healey, commonly known as Rick ta Life, finally noticed yesterday the obvious spelling mistake in both his…
ATLANTA — Local Christian punk band Keeper of Wolves has found themselves without an audience, after both cultural groups with whom they identify disowned them…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University have concluded that 90 percent of new songs are not attempts at a legitimate musical work, but actually…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local man Jackson Green was busted early yesterday morning reading Sum 41’s Wikipedia page when his roommate walked in on him exploring…
CHICAGO — Local man Tom Bencin, who recently spent $35 on a Pussyslaughter T-shirt that reads “#1 PUSSY MURDERER” in giant letters, has not yet…
DENVER — Local man Chris Wyatt’s first bowel movement at his new office job was completed without incident, the relieved office worker confirmed this morning.…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Former crust punk Howie Benson searched in vain earlier today for a way to hide his old, shitty tattoos before a mandatory…