Recently, the elitist SJWs of The Hard Times took a moment out of our busy lives of canceling posers to visit some dusty old butthole…
WESTERVILLE, Ohio — Senator Bernie Sanders played a cheap Squier Affinity P-Bass on stage during tonight’s debate for the 2020 Democratic primary election, a move…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Mayor Pete Buttigieg today became the first Democratic Presidential contender to release a decade’s worth of concert ticket stubs, following overwhelming…
WASHINGTON — The Democratic National Committee is reportedly struggling to decide on a main ahead of the 2020 election now that Bernie Sanders is confirmed…
MILWAUKEE — Vince Normand, an active member of the local swing and rockabilly scenes, announced this morning that he was unsure which “hepcat” or “Betty”…
This fucking guy. Our so called “president” (aka “45” because I refuse to even say Donald Trump’s name) is a complete fucking idiot that we…
Right now I am disgusted, heartbroken, and terrified for my country. I never thought Donald Trump would ACTUALLY become president. I can’t believe this gigantic…
NEW YORK – Citing her long-held belief that “there’s no way in hell anything like this could ever happen,” Lady Liberty herself packed up her bags and headed…
SAN FRANCISCO — A chilling case of voter suppression was reported today, as Jello Biafra ran out of room for the lengthy diatribe he was scribbling in…
NEW YORK – Pending the outcome of Tuesday’s election, Staten Island resident and local hothead Kevin Esposito vowed to move to another country if his…
INDIANAPOLIS — Vice Presidential candidate Mike Pence and his wife, Karen, have reportedly pushed their twin beds together for the first time ever, preemptively celebrating…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Fed up with the traditional two-party system, local voter Skye Applebaum cast her vote for Green Party candidate Jill Stein in the…
WASHINGTON — The FBI released hundreds of thousands of emails earlier today from U.S. Presidential hopeful Gary Johnson, consisting entirely of questions the Libertarian candidate…
LONDON – Julian Assange, the Wikileaks founder and internet outlaw who has been confined to the Ecuadorian embassy in London since mid-2012, announced today he…