BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently deceased man Jerry Davidson confessed on his deathbed last week that Juggalos, the clown-faced fans of Insane Clown Posse, are an…
WASHINGTON — A harrowing new study by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency found that the encroaching threat of climate change will turn what would be…
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local punk Divida “Ratkeys” Pilucci was pleasantly surprised this summer upon returning home and finally connecting with her grandparents over their…
LONDON — Legendary Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is completely oblivious that he will soon embark on his final string of performances, confirmed the Lord…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Metalhead Brad Fetterman spent several hours yesterday sewing the sleeves back on to his finest Dying Fetus T-shirt in preparation for his…
MESA, Ariz. — Aging punk and once-devoted skateboarder Mike Ireland has only now begun to fully comprehend the implied consequences of his old “skate or…
HOUSTON — Tragedy nearly stuck at a nearby Long John Silver’s last Sunday when no concerned patrons or workers felt comfortable administering CPR on choking…
NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. — Three days after his 34th birthday, computer programer Adam White admitted his growing concern that he’s now “too old to die…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Famed musician Jack White was diagnosed with early onset Johnny Depp yesterday following a routine check up, according to friends and family.…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Darren Freed met privately with his “best friend since junior high” early this morning to ask him to delete thousands of songs…