Daniel Arnold
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TACOMA, Wash. — Local coffee aficionado Sage Davis claimed today that he finally perfected his method for brewing the perfect…
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Sari Beliak
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CAPITOLA, Calif. –– Awkward man Bryan Erdman revealed Monday that he is never quite sure what to do with his…
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Patrick Coyne
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WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man and guy who “maybe enjoys an occasional drink, no big deal” Dennis Walsh realized yesterday…
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James Knapp
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LEMOYNE, Penn. — Roommate and all-around jackass Glen Sullivan reportedly drank the last beer in the house moments after having…
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Dan Rice
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PORTLAND, Maine — Poland Spring executives announced yesterday that they will re-release their flagship, original recipe water for the first…
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Bobby Korec
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PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Local inebriated man Kevin Donaghue drank a few sips of water before bed moments ago in an…
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Tyler Dark
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LOS ANGELES — Nü-metal darlings Limp Bizkit have worked with a local distillery to release their own exclusive, officially-licenced Chocolate…
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Rick Homuth
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CHICAGO — Local straight edge man Rodney Palmer woke up mortified this morning after realizing he’d broken edge while blackout…
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LOS ANGELES — Local woman Mattie Foster, known for her drunken outbursts at shows, is now simply loud and wasted…
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Claire Brown
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PASADENA, Calif. — Classmates turned and stared expectantly yesterday at high school student and local punk Samuel “The Cat” Chesters…
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