Nathan Kamal
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ROCKFORD, Ill. — Retail clerk Emma Stephenson finally began to feel a sense of normalcy as an unreasonably irate customer…
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Matt Wassung
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BOSTON — A report from the Berklee College of Music showed that half of the attendees at a recent Placebo…
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James Knapp
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LOS ANGELES — Recently vaccinated man Albert Kalomatsos posted his out-of-focus vaccine selfie weeks too late for it to even…
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Nathan Kamal
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SEATTLE — A coalition of ‘90s doctors announced this morning that fully vaccinated individuals are safe to peruse each other’s…
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Ryan Danley
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Look at Mr. WebMd, acts like such a smarty pants. But let’s get real: you're a one-trick pony. I am…
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BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing…
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Kevin Flynn
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ATLANTA — Warning that the spread of the new threat would only add further strain to the ongoing global health…
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Ella Gale
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Californians were warned today to protect themselves by staying both inside and outside, due to the ongoing risks associated with…
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Louie Aronowitz
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ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between…
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Andrew Murphy
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ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged Americans today to “Shut the fuck up for one goddamn…
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