It’s 2018, and society as a whole claims to be more progressive than ever, especially when it comes to sexual…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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BEYOND REALITY — Close sources report that Monika, a character from the cult psychological horror game Doki Doki Literature Club!…
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Thaddeus Cramer
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SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — After seeing her son Jacob Cohen bring home his new girlfriend for Passover, a body pillow with…
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local three-legged dog Chester, recently adopted from a nearby no-kill shelter, will live out the rest of…
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NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — 33-year-old pop-punk frontman Danny Huerta has reportedly been cast out of the scene he helped build…
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Brendan Krick
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PHILADELPHIA — Guitarist Pete Leinbach reportedly stuck to his pre-planned list of “hit” anecdotes during a first, and likely last,…
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Freelancer
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LOS ANGELES — Film Studies student Aidan Peterson rescued a night of intimacy using a decades-old video game cheat code,…
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OAKLAND — A first date at a crowded DIY basement show is going about “as good as one would expect,”…
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Michael Palladino
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PHOENIX — 33-year-old Josh Dalton is unsure whether the goth woman he dated last night was merely disinterested in him,…
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Salim Alam
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NEW YORK — 26-year-old Angela Kitts announced today that she is now “totally against one-night stands,” instead preferring the stability…
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