James Knapp
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BALTIMORE — Surgeons at Johns Hopkins Medical Center recently performed the first successful procedure to physiologically affix classic rock fan…
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Peter Woods
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EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined”…
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Patrick Crooks
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NEW YORK — Attendees of a dinner party hosted by Jon and James Adler were ignorant that the couple had…
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Freelancer
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VAN NUYS, Calif. — Local nursing student Jade Ng divulged to close friends at a bar yesterday her plans to…
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Bobby Korec
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WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local woman Alicia Beacon discovered a major red flag during her first date with Tony Delough in…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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Patrick Crooks
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CHICAGO — Local boyfriend who’s changed, he swears, Britt Keller promised on again-off again girlfriend Carolyn Mueller that he will…
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Eli Johnson
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The past decade has not been kind to the pickup artist community. Ever since PUAs entered the mainstream, the media…
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Dianne Nora
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FOREST PARK, Ill. — Local woman in her mid-30s Laura McMann was carded again late yesterday evening when attempting to…
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