Bobby Korec
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Julian “The Stain” Rainer stunned a group of friends by somehow clogging a perfectly…
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SAN ANTONIO — Multi-instrumentalist Eli “Smudge” Goodwin threw the entire local folk-punk scene into disarray when he tried to make…
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Heather Cook
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NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local woman and dedicated shower pisser Esme Hill reportedly held her urine in longer than usual…
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Dan Rice
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For better or worse, the origins of punk rock will forever be intrinsically tied to the practice of huffing glue.…
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Rebecca Acevedo
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A person always has a razor-blade, piss, and a cigarette readily available, and whether you’re in the alley behind a…
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Ken Taro
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local crust punk David Wong firmly believes that “corporations are an evil plague on society,” which is…
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Stephen Bell
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TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth…
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Wilson Conkwright
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local crust punk Skye Mathtison is leaning hard into self-help culture for 2024, pinning pictures of his…
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Taylor Roebuck
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TOLEDO, Ohio — Local crust punk Gabe Cox is tremendously worried that “radical left” gun control policies will result in…
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Rose Vineshank
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Let me get one thing straight. This may be a punk house, but we’re upper-crust-punks. Whatever I offer my guests…
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