WACO, Texas. — Kid Rock was announced as the winner of a local talent show that catered to creeps after he recited the age of…
CHICAGO — Taylor Swift concertgoer Noah Nussbaum was torn into dozens of bloody chunks of meat by dark, shrieking shadows in front of shocked onlookers…
KINGSTON, N.Y. — Local woman Kelly Atkins is frustrated with her current apartment, as the listing promised her access to laundry in the basement of…
Traditional boring Thanksgiving dinners are fine for some families, who don’t care about celebrating our nation’s history with a little flair. Turkey with those little…
WASHINGTON — Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell reportedly spent the week in a luxurious DC hotel while the coffin he sleeps in was re-lined, creeped-out…
MILWAUKEE — Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis dramatically strode forward from the shadows after the word “California” was uttered in conversation by several…
Hey there, little fellas. Remember me? Creaky Jed who lives in a stump by the abandoned post office? I’ve been watching you and I know…
DENVER — Local man Ian Vernor horrified his roommates yesterday by inauspiciously sniffing his pointer and middle fingers, recoiling in muted disgust, then thrusting his…
RACINE, Wisc. — Local woman Madison Kemper nearly reached her breaking point with Tinder last night after receiving yet another unsolicited fish pic, sources close…
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk announced earlier this week that he will name his next child in the style of a Sudoku, one of his…
PHILADELPHIA — Protesters demanding an end to police brutality found themselves in an awkward situation today when they applauded riot police for mercilessly beating the…