WACO, Texas. — Kid Rock was announced as the winner of a local talent show that catered to creeps after he recited the age of…
There are some things in this world that truly stand the test of time. The Pyramids of Giza, Machu Picchu, the sad Keanu meme. Well,…
LAS VEGAS — Pop punk fan and amateur blackjack player Devin Suggs has fallen into debt after instinctively hitting on hands of 15, disgusted sources…
QUEBEC — Local scofflaw Donald Ross was seen spanking it outside of Fantasy World, which clearly has a designated area for that sort of thing…
FANWOOD, N.J. — Self-described punk kid Scott “Snotski” Tamaro turned 50 this week, shocking both friends and family yet again with his inability to use…
HOPKINGTON, Mass. — Local creep Brad Hinton announced his plans to run a full marathon, moments after seeing a woman with visible tattoos 26.2 miles…
SEATTLE — Seattle Police responded to a noise complaint at the home of Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder last night after neighbors complained he was…
So we were just sitting outside Cafe du Stefan in Jackson, Michigan waiting for our Americanos when a man who looked like he held Civil…
BALTIMORE — Local Zoom show attendee Bryant Nelson sent fellow showgoer Sage Mykels unwanted messages in the chat of Wood Leg Work’s virtual show last…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local sandwich artist Allison Kim’s spacious, work-issued polo shirt did little to block a well-known customer’s intense, sexually-charged leer, according to uncomfortable…
NEW YORK — Local gamer Jesse Cooper was reportedly horrified to discover the 15-minute YouTube video they just finished was made by disgraced former Polygon…
PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — 16-year-old Misty Lebowitz carelessly endangered her much, much older and immunocompromised pop-punk singer boyfriend Scotty McDickers yesterday when she defied New York’s…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Nate Bolgren was completely unaware that the woman he attempted to flirt with yesterday on his evening commute home had…