Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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The Hard Times Staff
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UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while…
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The Hard Times Staff
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ATHENS, Ga. — Touring COVID strain Delta Variant surprised showgoers after being added to a sold-out show at local punk…
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Khadija Hassan
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MINNEAPOLIS — Unvaccinated couple Chris and Hannah Davidson excitedly shared the results of their latest COVID tests at a massive…
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Mark Roebuck
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DAVENPORT, Iowa — Members of controversial nu metal outfit Trapt were reportedly overjoyed to play their first show in front…
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THORNVILLE, Ohio — Local Juggalo Andreas “Wicked Kush” Fleming is ignoring all CDC recommendations while attending this year's Gathering of…
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Tony Morse
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GEORGE, Wash. — Dave Matthews Band is raising alarm among epidemiologists and everyone who isn’t in a fraternity or sorority…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN — Texas Governor Greg Abbott tested positive for the emerging Justified variant of COVID-19, according to a statement from…
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Dan Kozuh
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SAN FRANCISCO — New COVID-19 mutation the Gamma Variant garnered attention with a cryptic tweet telling followers it had “big”…
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