MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Local law enforcement veteran Sergeant David Maddison drew praise from fellow officers for deftly concealing his identity to evade community criticism and…
ATLANTA — The CDC issued new guidance this week aimed at expanding COVID-19 vaccine access to individuals currently experiencing any age-related struggles chronicled by The…
TRAVIS COUNTY, Texas — Local college student Jason Manzano expertly danced around the subject of vaccination rollout last week upon returning home on break from…
BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing spree that will stretch from…
EARTH — The entire world was devastated to learn Friday that, because of a general oversight on humanity’s part, the COVID-19 pandemic is going to…
WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the United States have begun to…
MADISON, Wisc. — Derek Carlson surprised his girlfriend Jessica Kravtsova today with the gift of allowing her to make all of the couple’s Valentine’s Day…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral program for recently deceased Nathan Rivard was the most fun his friends have had since the beginning of the COVID-19…
ATLANTA — In an attempt to help Americans better understand and adjust to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dave Landers received the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday and is now looking forward to never, ever washing his hands again, according…
RACCOON CITY — Albert Wesker, a former commanding officer of the highly decorated Alpha Team of the STARS division of the RCPD, has angered many…
MUNCIE, Ind. – World-renowned, curmudgeonly orange cat Garfield has forgotten which day of the week he famously hates due to prolonged quarantine, comic strip sources…
WASHINGTON — Congressional attempts to pass a COVID-19 stimulus bill once again reached an impasse yesterday after Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL) introduced an amendment to…