SEATTLE — Ostentatious little showboat David Farrow is spending all of January completely abstinent from alcohol without the looming threat of incarceration, vexed sources confirmed.…
The Marvel Cinematic Universe is the most popular movie franchise in the world, but that doesn’t mean the people in charge of it don’t have…
SAN FRANCISCO — The new Metallica Masterclass program where they teach viewers how to be a band is being called confusing and misleading by subscribers…
CHICAGO — A report recently issued by the Library of Congress has stated that this right here is the good part of the song, shut…
LOS ANGELES — The Red Hot Chili Peppers shocked jurors and courtroom personnel at the California State Court House on Thursday by replacing the famous…
DALLAS — Local woman Claudia Rodriguez was stunned this afternoon upon receiving an email approving maintenance for an apartment she has not lived in since…
In 1970 the case of Roe vs. Wade was brought before the Supreme Court. After a nearly three-year trial and appeals process, the court made…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Local defense attorney Andre Laird is reportedly running out of options today, trying to convince his punk client that giving “at least…
ATLANTA — Adam Hansen, the lead vocalist of death metal band Corpse Licker and best known for his flowing locks and grimly haunting aesthetic, was…
WASHINGTON — Pro-life fundamentalists are rejoicing today after controversial Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett was officially confirmed to the judiciary, sources wondering what it…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Ofc. Michael Skolnyk opened fire on a grand jury yesterday after they figuratively slapped him on the wrist for his history of…
Okay, let’s cut right down to business here. Is this divorce hearing BYOB, open bar, or, (ugh) a cash bar? It’s not a big deal…
PORTLAND, Maine — Local man Ralph Pettersen was recently immersed in an exciting and ingenious alternate reality game which began when a cryptic call-to-action letter…
Your Honor, take a look at this jury. When I arrived here for my trial, I was told the jury would be a selection of…
Look, I get it: January is a time for fresh beginnings, exciting challenges, and character building; a time to evaluate the person you have been…