The Claim: Everyone’s favorite alarmist hip hop group Cypress Hill predicted we in our current fragile state as a quarantined and socially distant society would…
ST. LOUIS — Local punk Luke Koester downgraded his live-in romantic partner Samatha Tsai from “girlfriend” to “roommate” yesterday following weeks of forced cohabitation with…
LANSING, Mich. — Local punk Diana Spalsbury purchased 100 boxes of semi-permanent hair dye yesterday, just for the pair of disposable gloves that come inside…
BURBANK, Calif. — Disney executives have come under fire for shocking statements made last night by animated television star Doc McStuffins during a Fox News…
Where are all the new ideas?! Every movie is the same tired plot. Every TV show is full of unoriginal characters who we’ve seen over…
NEW YORK — Quarantined Manhattan resident Jesse Whittle is reportedly replaying Spider-Man on the PlayStation 4 just to remember what it was like to walk…
AHHHH! Fuck my stupid face in the dick with some shit! I was just scrolling when a notification that someone went live appeared right under…
LOS ANGELES — Local metalhead Rob Kurtz was reportedly called out at the grocery store yesterday for converting an old Deafheaven shirt into a face…
ATWATER, Ohio — Following a recent days-long conference focused on the COVID-19 outbreak held in Helsinki, Denmark, members of the World Health Organization have officially…
BIG SKY ISLAND — Residents of a single-island community in the remote ocean are defying the government’s orders for social isolation amid the Coronavirus pandemic…
NEW YORK — Local man Bryan Watson spent his 28th birthday last week quarantined from friends and family due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but didn’t…
Politicians are arguing over how best to implement a stimulus package and all I can think about is how much I’d like to be back…
Now that I’m stuck at home I’m losing my mind from boredom. I can only spend so many hours a day watching movies, playing my…
HEBRON, Ky. — Longtime Amazon fulfillment center worker Jayce Sheffield will use a combination of their accrued sick and vacation hours to attend their own…
After dutifully reporting to my essential job opening at 5 a.m. at Panera every morning since all this shit started going down, on Friday night…